Expectations Hurt

Hey there, lovely faces, I am going to be fiercely honest with my opinions in this post so make sure to treat this as a story with a lame plot.

Most of the memories of my childhood are connected to my maternal grandparents’ house. Most of the time I was left there with these lovely beings and some other relatives. Hell! I made my very first friends in that vicinity. Everything was moving fine, but after some years of my healthy life, I was introduced to a place called the school. Me being unaware of all the stuff that was happening around, tried to cope with this massive change and somehow balanced myself.

After these itty-bitty changes, came the summer vacation time. Everything was going fine, but then I saw someone in the neighborhood who came from the capital city of the state which holds my hometown too. The image of that person was caught in my brain. It was an emotional ascent that took place which was playing a slideshow of that image on my mind again and again. Don’t ask me why, coz I really don’t know.

Leaving all that behind the day happened when it all has to be ceased. The person who was stuck in my mind has to go back to her nest. She was leaving!

You know… the more I got to know about her was then, when I started taking tuitions. It was in the same neighborhood. Maybe, a block or two away from my place.

But like all good things come to an end. She left. And I thought it was all over. After a day or so, I forgot all the dramatic incidents that took place and my heated intellect cooled down to its average temperature.

Time flew, the year changed, another summer vacation was on its way. At that point, I was ok… with the fact that I lost a person whom I never found, but… meh! sht happens.

But destiny had a different story to tell. It brought her back to the neighborhood again. Only this time my emotional ascent was intensified. And this started happening to me every year she came until the day when I finally met her mother.

Her mother had an overwhelming personality. She introduced me to her daughter, it was an innocent and friendly meeting between two kids.

In between our conversation, the overwhelming personality noticed something between her daughter and me. Most of our habits matched, so she promised me something which I would’ve never expected, and that’s where the problem arose, I got my very first ever expectation from someone whom I don’t even properly know.

Though she stayed not more than a month, we connected well which ended with us being “good friends.” But I never even dared to ask her any details that “good friends” usually share. Hell! I knew her nickname if I score a point from you. But no! That wasn’t her real name, either. She knew… it had to be her because I was dismayed of starting a simple conversation.

She was bold, she asked me about my legal name, the school which I was from, and some of those basic details I never cared about answering myself. So now after chatting her for some time, I finally gathered enough confidence to repeat the same to her, and believe me! this task was much more comfortable than I thought it could be. Now I know which school she was into, what her legal name was, and obviously, I knew her Mother’s name.

With her, every moment was a precious thing. But like before, the vacation came to an end just after the very next day of her introduction. She was going back to her home. It was cool for me as she was supposed to return the following summer. But this time she didn’t.

A couple of years passed but there was no sign of her. But she didn’t know that she unintentionally left some riddles behind her back for me to solve and find her out in the new technological era.

I was pretty calm because I knew I’ll find her in any of these current social media platforms. But you see! These platforms have their own drawbacks (it becomes really very complicated if you’re on to find somebody when you actually don’t know their username). I searched for the details she left with me, but all my efforts went in vain.

Eventually, after 4 long years of searching on the web, I found a Facebook profile. It was one of her cousins. She was elder than both of us. And this hint gave me a completely different perspective to watch how these social media platforms can help someone to find a specific person. Now that when I saw the profile, I started doing hit-and-trial, and after a year, I was able to see her mom’s profile on Facebook which at the end of the day helped me to find the one which I was looking for. Within 2 hours I was able to find her. Yes, she was on Facebook.

After finding her on Facebook, it was time for me to confirm if she was on other social media platforms with that same username. This time I was curious. I found her on Instagram. Ok! Did I tell you that I was looking for her existence on these social media platforms and followed her private profile from one of my friend’s Instagram ID? I know what it sounds like. But I couldn’t afford to reveal my desperation. Within 30 minutes, the following request was accepted, leaving a new opportunity for me to dig deep into it.

I checked out the whole profile and surprisingly a lad was standing next to her in most of her photos. Which made me a bit insecure. But then I controlled my insecurity and started digging more and more which ended up me landing on that guy’s Instagram profile. It gave me an entirely new perspective on how things can go out of expectations.

By this time I was utterly annoyed by the fact that the person I was looking for so long is already in a healthy relationship with someone. The deeper I went, the more disappointment I faced. This disappointment converted into aggression, and hence I ended up taking the access of that guy’s Instagram account and started digging deep in the DM’s which told a lot about them, some good memories, funny conversations, bad experiences, dark secrets and much more.

My aggressive mind couldn’t control all of that. Thus I started reading the conversations from the very beginning. It made me feel more and more insecure. I stood out of the scene and hence never tried to spoil someone’s good relation, and this made me feel bad for whatever I did, leading me not to send any message and stop reading those dark secrets again and again, so I logged out of that guy’s account and decided not to look back again.

The very next day I ended up thinking and considered the whole scenario as a bad dream, but I knew the truth, it was not a dream, it was the harsh reality of having expectations.

This story may seem to end up on a heavy note for me but not for the lovely couple who is enjoying their time together, the most favorite thing of mine in that healthy relationship is that they both are loyal to each other.

With that being said, I would like to tell you always to have expectations. They may hurt you at some point of life, but you’re still left with unusual solutions to that. You may end up having grudges, but if you channel your emotions in the right way, you can learn a lot from them.